I would bet money that you never thought you’d read the words horror, erotica, sock puppets, and knitting needles in the same sentence.

Let me start over. Jamie Kort was recently featured in The Best of Bizarro Fiction (Vol 1): A Planet Bizarro Anthology. If you are familiar with bizarro, you may have an idea of the level of weird that Jamie Kort conjures up in this brief novella. I follow him on Instagram and have been seeing his posts about this story on my feed for the last couple weeks. It is currently available on Godless for the ridiculously low price of 50 cents.

This is the story of a pair of sock puppets living in a dusty old attic. One day, they find something they hadn’t seen in the attic before, a pair of knitting needles. Brad teaches Camille how to knit the beast with two backs, and in their knitting frenzy, they knit up a sock baby and Camille’s life is forever changed. Imagine learning how to fuck and becoming a single parent in the same day. Brad traps her in a box and goes on with his life, but Camille is not done. She becomes obsessed with the idea of reuniting with the father of her child and becoming a family.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This novella has all the elements of a great bizarro horror story. It’s weird and pushes the limits of your imagination. I found myself laughing at times that were probably inappropriate, but I have a feeling Kort writes for weirdos with dark senses of humor like me. I could tell you the rest of the story, but you should probably just buy it and read it for yourself. It’s Valentine’s Day. Treat yo self.