Tag: Godless

I read a book: Brad, Unwound: A Puppet Scorned Yarn, by Jamie Kort

Posted on by Traumadoll

Jamie Kort is back with a new puppetrotica origin story for A Puppet Scorned‘s leading sock puppet, Brad. That’s right, sock puppet erotic horror. A Puppet Scorned was great, so I was excited when Kort announced that he was working on another sock puppet story and positively thrilled when he offered me a review copy.

So let’s talk about Brad. If you remember his role in A Puppet Scorned, you’ll remember that he is a knitter. In his world, that means more than just creating beautiful things out of yarn. Knitting is erotic. Knitting is procreation. And much like the knitting I know, it as frustrating as it is rewarding. How often do you undo half a project because it wasn’t coming out how you hoped? Oftentimes you get pretty far into a project before you have that realization. In this sense, Brad is no different. He knits and knits in his attempts to perfect his project. We get a glimpse into Brad’s thought process throughout.

And then we are introduced to the human component of the story. Brad refers to them as The Hoarder and his bitch, as though they are animals. We observe them through Brad’s eyes and his perspective is intriguing. He doesn’t quite understand what he’s witnessed and thinks of it in terms that he can comprehend. Are the beasts made of wood, and is wood a type of hard yarn? Is he living inside a giant beast that’s been woven together? This event that Brad has witnessed inspires him. If the beast can rebuild his mate, surely he can knit his perfect love-knitting partner. Will the pattern revealed to him by The Holy Yarn be what he has yearned for? One thing is certain, Brad is definitely unhinged…er, unwound.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for me. I was recently inspired by a yarn clearance sale to pick up my crochet hook and try again, so I find myself tickled by all the yarn puns and twisted knitting terminology weaved into this story. Like A Puppet Scorned, this prequel has all the elements of a great bizarro horror story. It’s well written, and Kort’s use of knitting terminology shows that either he is a knitter or he did his research. I really enjoyed this.

Big thanks to Jamie Kort for the review copy. I look forward to more sock puppet erotic horror. You can buy Brad, Unwound: A Puppet Scorned Yarn, by Jamie Kort on Godless for 50 cents. Just do it.

I read a book: Bowery, by Matthew Vaughn

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I ventured into the hucow world a while back when I was reading a bunch of fringe smut (coronavirus and clippy novellas, I’m looking at you) between the alien books. The Amazon algorithm decided in its vast wisdom that since I like reading about human abductees finding love with sweet aliens, maybe I would be interested in hucow. I read one short story and that was enough for me. I did not venture further into that subject. Rape and humiliation are not my bag.

However when I read the description for Matthew Vaughn’s Valentine’s Day release, Bowery, I knew this was right up my alley. You see in my mind, the idea of being enslaved and hooked up to a milking machine is terrifying. Horror. Bizarro even. Not erotica, the usual place you find hucow. I’m not here to kink shame. I read one, decided it’s not for me, and moved on with my life. If you’re into hucow kink though, you should probably pass on Bowery because this is gonna kill it for you.

Bowery starts with a heavily pregnant woman waking up in a strange place strapped to a table with a whole cut out for her belly to hang through. She is naked and on display. Some farmhands enter the room and her nightmare begins when she realizes this is really happening to her. She is in a facility full of other cows, as the farmers call her. They are kept pregnant so they can be milked, forced to walk on their hands and knees, are not allowed to say anything other than moo, and housed in stables. Their babies, which the farmers call calves, are taken from them at birth and they never see them again.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for me. Matthew Vaughn is now on my must read list. This whole story is a mindfuck. I like Vaughn’s writing style. He paints a vivid picture and whether intentional or not, makes you think about how we treat actual cows in our ongoing demand for dairy. However I felt like there were some details missing that would have made this a 5 star novella. I kept wondering about Sandra’s partner, why this Bowery even exists, what about the bulls. They clearly can’t be used for breeding. I wondered about law enforcement, though an incompetent police force is a believable addition to the story. The ending was baffling, though I can really say much more without giving it away. That said, this is a great book and I look forward to reading more of Vaughn’s work.

You can buy Bowery, by Matthew Vaughn on Godless for a buck. Go on, do it.

I read a book: A Puppet Scorned, by Jamie Kort

Posted on by Traumadoll

I would bet money that you never thought you’d read the words horror, erotica, sock puppets, and knitting needles in the same sentence.

Let me start over. Jamie Kort was recently featured in The Best of Bizarro Fiction (Vol 1): A Planet Bizarro Anthology. If you are familiar with bizarro, you may have an idea of the level of weird that Jamie Kort conjures up in this brief novella. I follow him on Instagram and have been seeing his posts about this story on my feed for the last couple weeks. It is currently available on Godless for the ridiculously low price of 50 cents.

This is the story of a pair of sock puppets living in a dusty old attic. One day, they find something they hadn’t seen in the attic before, a pair of knitting needles. Brad teaches Camille how to knit the beast with two backs, and in their knitting frenzy, they knit up a sock baby and Camille’s life is forever changed. Imagine learning how to fuck and becoming a single parent in the same day. Brad traps her in a box and goes on with his life, but Camille is not done. She becomes obsessed with the idea of reuniting with the father of her child and becoming a family.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ This novella has all the elements of a great bizarro horror story. It’s weird and pushes the limits of your imagination. I found myself laughing at times that were probably inappropriate, but I have a feeling Kort writes for weirdos with dark senses of humor like me. I could tell you the rest of the story, but you should probably just buy it and read it for yourself. It’s Valentine’s Day. Treat yo self.

I read a book: Like a Tramp Yelling at Trains, by Peter Caffrey

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This is my first Peter Caffrey book. According to the man himself, he is “not a poet, which is why this collection is free. A few of you might find something which amuses, and others won’t. If you’re in the latter group, remember, it’s fucking free.” This collection is full of humor, darkness, and heart. Caffrey says he is not a poet but he totally is.

Some highlights from a handful of the poems:
One Small Step – well that took an interesting turn. Probably shouldn’t have laughed, but I did.
Honeycomb – that last stanza…oof. Relatable.
Untitled – a bit rhymey, but a satisfying little vignette
The Light Side – that giggle at the end, love it
Shared Guilt – wherever you are, I am also
Despite All This – eat your hearts out, Hallmark
All Hallows – ok this one cracked me up
Happy Not Happy – utopia
Dead Exciting – titillating
The Poet – perfect way to close this collection

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ I picked up Like a Tramp Yelling at Trains, by Peter Caffrey for free on Godless. To my delight, this book of poetry was not only free but included an audiobook narrated by the author and it is so great. I kind of want him to narrate my life now. You should read this. Hell, Caffrey will read it to you.

Monthly roundup – December 2022

Posted on by Traumadoll

Last monthly roundup of the year. I read fewer books this month than usual due to the untimely demise of my kindle and some trouble focusing in general, but I still got to lots of great books. Mantis was my favorite, followed closely by both issues of The Obituaries and The Astronaut Dream Book. Not a bad one in the bunch though.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️:
Mantis
The Obituaries #2
The Obituaries #3
The Astronaut Dream Book

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️:
The rest

No rating:
One that I won’t name.

So let’s talk about some of these books. I read a lot of weird stuff. Some of it is weird by definition. Anything labeled bizarro is going to be super weird. I knew I was going to love the favorites listed above because I have loved everything I’ve read by those authors so far. But then there are books like the Pet Project series. The first book was recommended to me by Amazon or Goodreads (I don’t remember) because I read a lot of alien porn. This series was not alien porn, but it is solid sci-fi and I really enjoyed it. The series got better as it progressed. There’s a pretty significant time jump between books, but it feels like the natural progression of events.

I also read a lot of zombie books. I know a lot of them are the same story told by different people, but that’s part of why I like them so much. Still, when I read a book that takes a different approach to zombies, I’m all in. Diana Rowland’s White Trash Zombie series is one of those. The series follows a young woman who was turned by a cop who found her dying of an overdose. The zombies in this world are not mindless and go on to live normal lives. Well, as normal as can be expected for someone who needs to consume brains to keep from turning into flesh eating monsters. Not a bad book in this six volume series. I loved it, and even though it took me a year to get around to reading the last volume, I’ll miss Angel Crawford.

Monster romance is a relatively new genre for me. I’ve never really cared for traditional romance or smut and mostly just didn’t read it because the few that I’d tried were disappointing at best and boring at worst. About a year and a half ago, I saw Ice Planet Barbarians on my Goodreads feed. The person who was reading the series usually reads less fluffy stuff, but I’ve loved pretty much everything I’ve read based on her ratings so I gave IPB a go. And promptly fell down that rabbit hole. It turns out I do enjoy romance and smut, I’m just not interested in humans. Go figure. This month’s monster porn, Grunge and I’m in Love with Mothman, were excellent. More mythical creatures, please.

All in all, a great month of reads to wrap up a great year.

Monthly roundup – October 2022

Posted on by Traumadoll

Spooktober was filled with mostly great reads. I read horror year round, so this month wasn’t really different except that I hosted two Book Lovers Cafe group reads because my first choice didn’t win. My insistence on exposing the masses to extreme horror (and doing 31 days of horror movies) did get in the way of my usual schedule, so I didn’t get to everything I had planned. However, I did get to a bunch that have been on my tbr for a while (and they were amazing!) so I consider it a win.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️:
A Soul to Keep, by Opal Reyne
Full Brutal, by Kristopher Triana
The Troop, by Nick Cutter
Gyo, by Junji Ito
The Girl on the Glider, by Brian Keene

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️:
The Tooth Fairy, by Davide Tarsitano
The Haunting of Ashburn House, by Darcy Coates
Lil’ Bastard, by Matt Shaw
The People Look Like Flowers at Last, by Charles Bukowski
Morning Glory Milking Farm, by C.M. Nascosta

⭐️⭐️⭐️:
Against the Lockers, by Aiden E. Messner
Jokes to Offend Men, by Allison Kelley, etc
When the Dark Spoke to Me, by Christabelle Marbun
Heartstopper Vol 4, by Alice Oseman

The rest kinda sucked. Two were Halloween themed monster romances that are actually pretty well liked on Goodreads. They just didn’t do it for me. One was straight up bad. Honestly don’t even remember how I came across the Hucow stuff. I don’t think I’ll do that again. And the last one was Little Women, but with vampire references woven in. I was not impressed.

Pictured but not rated: Island of the Dead, by Brian Keene. This is not actually a book, it is a Kindle Vella series. The story was interesting, but I kinda hate the serial format.

All of my four and five star reads have been on my tbr for a while and all were amazing. Several of those authors were already on my insta-buy list and now the rest are as well. Beyond that, the only one I’m interested in reading again is Messner. I feel like they’re gonna be one of those writers who just gets better. Time will tell.

On the agenda for November? One book club read (thriller), two Cool Ghouls books, the backlog of loaners from my enabler, the next Duskwalker Bride book, and hopefully several from my NetGalley shelf. I have a few Thanksgiving themed horror books and movies to share. Holiday baking. Dragonflight! Lots of fun stuff coming up.

I read a book: Lil Bastard, by Matt Shaw

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Da da

Just finished one of Matt Shaw’s many novellas. Lil Bastard is told from the perspective of a baby who remembers being being other people and is bitter and angry as fuck. He spends his days plotting to kill, but of course he is a baby so his options are limited. That doesn’t discourage him though. The story takes an unexpected turn, but comes full circle. I laughed out loud at several points. The baby talk translations cracked me up.

⭐️⭐️⭐️.5 read for me. This is not for everyone, but it is for me. If you like extreme horror and dark (really dark) humor, you’ll like this.

You can read lots of Matt Shaw’s work through your Kindle Unlimited subscription, or buy his books on Amazon.

I read a book: The Magpie Coffin, by Wile E. Young

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The Magpie Coffin is an unrelenting tale of revenge, with precise brutality and extreme violence – the first in the Splatter Western series from Death’s Head Press.

My first experience with the splatter western genre was a book called Bloodletting, by J.R. Curtis. I thought it was great and decided that I needed more of the author and more splatter western in my life. It’s been a minute since I read that book though, and was finally able to pencil in another splatter western by making it one of the Cool Ghouls Book Club selections. My ever growing unending TBR sometimes demands that I do this to push some books to the top of that list. Cool Ghouls is currently doing a series of 2022 Splatterpunk Award winners. Enter The Magpie Coffin, by Wile. E. Young, winner of Best Novel in 2021.

As I often do, I judged this book by its cover. That amazing cover art helps set the stage for me. It gives off old Clint Eastwood spaghetti western vibes that only got stronger as I read. I imagined Salem Covington carrying himself like every old west Clint Eastwood character, with his outlaw hat tilted low, hiding his trademark snarl and stony gaze. When I was a kid, we had one television in the house and Dad’s beloved copy of The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly on 2 VHS tapes. I remember him putting it on fairly often, much to my siblings and my chagrin. Even now, old westerns are common background noise in my home. Of course now I love those old movies. And while it might be a weird thing to say about a splatter book, it was giving me all the feels. I was a kid again, watching Clint Eastwood take bloody vengeance on the people who’d tortured and killed his mentor. Covington uses a combination of black magic and his special Gun, which is capitalized to emphasize the fact that it’s not a regular gun. It speaks to him, reminds him of how many souls he owes, and encourages him to kill.

There are some things that I felt were lacking in explanation. Maybe I missed it. That happens. But I never really understood how Covington got into his deal in the first place. Who was the coffin maker? There were mentions of souls owed. But to who? Why? How? We know that he is unkillable by all guns except the one he carries and the one that used to belong to his brother. He learned the way of the People from his shaman teacher, Dead Bear, and there are mentions of how he perverted the teachings to suit him. He picked up other black magic from other teachers. There are questions, but the story flows and wraps up in a way that doesn’t require answers. I’m left wanting more. It has all of the fast sharp brutality I love in a good spatter novel with an old western flair.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ read for me. I want more Wile E. Young. I want more splatter western. This was a great start for Death’s Head Press‘s Splatter Western series and I will be reading more of them.

You can get The Magpie Coffin, by Wile E. Young on Amazon, Godless, or directly from Death’s Head Press.

I read a book: The undead possession series (book 1: Infestation), by Justin Boote

Posted on by Traumadoll

I love zombies.

Not as much as Samantha loves them though.

Anyone who reads zombies knows that a lot of them are the same. And I love them despite that sameness. But every once in a while you read one that has a little something that makes it stand out. This is one of those books. Not only do we have zombies, we have different levels of zombies. Zombies and what they call half breeds. There is real hope for a cure. There’s demon possession and a haunted house. There is also some zombie sex stuff, which doesn’t come off as erotic, but the imagery sure is vivid. Because this isn’t set in the USA, the survival experience is way different than most zombie books I’ve read. Fewer guns. No redneck survival groups dominating all remaining survivors. No finding huge trucks to plow their way through the zombie hordes. It’s a refreshing new (to me at least) take on zombies.

This volume ends on a cliffhanger. I think even if it hadn’t, I’d still want to continue the series.

You can find The Undead Possession Series and other Justin Boote books on Amazon for the time being, but they are migrating to Godless on September 17 and sold at a discount for the first five days, so pick them up there! I know I will!

Quick note about Godless: you can find tons of books by indie horror authors at low prices there. Godless offers a platform for authors to sell their books without the Amazon royalties trap, which ultimately means more money in author pockets. It also means not having to dance around Amazon censors and having alternate Amazon friendly cover art. I have purchased many books on Godless, and while I am not crazy about not being able to automatically upload my highlights and track my progress on Goodreads because compatibility issues, it is easy enough to load books onto my kindle and read in the way to which I’m accustomed. And I do like knowing that more of the money goes to the authors. Amazon doesn’t need your money.

I read a book: Talia, by Daniel Volpe

Posted on by Traumadoll

Never was there a more appropriate intro to a book.

I chose Talia, by Daniel Volpe for Book Lovers Cafe‘s second Cool Ghouls read. My little book club has garnered some attention in the group, but if any of the people who sign up are reading the books, I have no idea because they’re not participating in discussion. I will keep at it though. I am determined to share my love of horror and bizarro to anyone who will listen.

I take it back. At least one person read it. They were not prepared.

I read Talia in one sitting. At 120 pages, I suppose that isn’t saying much, but for me it is. If a story isn’t immediately gripping, my attention wanders. Talia grips you by the throat and assaults your senses non-stop. This is the story of a young woman who moves to the big city trying to make a name for herself. She quickly learns that it is not easy to break through in the acting world and finds herself targeted by a sleazy adult filmmaker named Mike who can smell desperation. Talia has heard the rumors about this guy, rumors that he works for the mob and does more than porn, but she is in a tough spot and is willing to do what it takes to make some money.

At first, it isn’t so bad. She does some fetish films that get increasingly strange, but she makes friends with one of her costars and mostly hasn’t had to do anything too degrading. What’s a little piss in the grand scheme of things anyway? Rumors about Mike’s clientele prove to be true as the requests get stranger and more brutal. One day, Talia and her friend come in to do a film find themselves facing a tied and gagged man and a table containing whips of increasing levels of brutality. Is this just another pain fetish video? Is Talia built for the kind of films Mike has lined up? Is Mike prepared to face the monster he created?

I discovered (after reading Talia), that our heroine was introduced in Volpe’s earlier work, Billy Silver. Of course I have to read that now.

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️. Daniel Volpe, I see you.

You can find Volpe’s books available on Amazon, Kindle Unlimited, and Godless. Borrow Talia on KU or just buy it! A cover like that will look great on your bookshelf.